Friday, July 9, 2010

Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Sometimes I forget what's inside me. I forget about the passions that I have. Maybe it's not forgetting but more hiding them away for a time being.

I was a ballerina for 12 years of my life. I was never a hardcore dancer or a "bun head" as we were all notoriously called. I never had good feet, I actually have flat feet, which isn't conducive to a dancer's life. I was only in classical ballet & really did no other dancing unless it was during a summer workshop or I was in my room in front of a mirror. I finally convinced my Mom to let me quit when I was 16 because I just didn't feel comfortable any more doing ballet. I wanted to do more, but I didn't know how & I was ready to put that life behind me.

Through the years I have dabbled in dance here & there. I tried a modern class in college once, which was very hard to figure out. Once you have taught your body to turn out your feet & everything is about the line your body makes, it's hard to retrain your body to turn in & just be flowy & free. The brain says do this, but the body goes against it. That was the last time I truely danced in a classroom & it was over two years ago.

I know it's in me, I just have to find it again. Once you're a dancer, you will always be a dancer till they lay your body in the earth. The dance & movement is always there. When you hear a beat your body thumps with it. Your arms move with the flow of the rhythm. You never forget what it feels like to pour your heart out in movements & let your body be free.

My favorite kind of dancing is hip hop. I love it so much. But now I stick to dancing in my car or yes, still in my room in front of my mirror. I miss it all a lot. The performances, the freedom. I'm ready to have dance come out of me again.


Title: Tiny Dancer by Elton John


Clare B said...

I kind of feel that way about gymnastics, although there is no way I could get my body to do what it used to do - but every now and then I like to pretend I just landed the perfect dismount. lol

Unknown said...

I love hip hop as well!! Though I'm not really a dancer. You should totally pick it up again, it's so fun and freeing.

ALFIE said...

i LOVE the new banner!

and i love this post.

i danced for years and years. i even competed for awhile. and you're right--it ends up in your blood. in your soul.

i dance constantly. around the house. through the halls at work.

when i'm dancing. i am free.

Tamara said...

dancing is what do whenever i'm suppose to be cleaning. is best on a raining day, itunes on play, and procrastinating housework.

S and O said...

12 years is a whole lot of time to be dancing -- must have been so fun :)
I've always wanted to dance of these days I'm really going to have to stop wishing and do it ;)


Shannon of HAPPINESS IS said...

Oooh girl, I LOVE your new header!! And yes, you will always be a dancer no matter what. You should try out for So You Think You Can Dance ;) Adore that show. xo

Tuesdai Noelle said...

Hey :)

I hear that! I think sometimes where forgetting your GIFT comes from is just simply no more than a lack of inspiration. I know I've been feeling that way off and on lately. Whereas, I realize what's within me...sometimes I don't feel like working with it- if that makes sense. BUt at least I know :)

Also, I'll be featuring your blog interview tomorrow! Have a fab day :)


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