Wednesday, September 2, 2009
O lord what can I say I am so sad since you went away time time ticking on me Alone is the last place I wanted to be Lord what can I say
Today has been so long & so full of every emotion known to man. Some things just don't always work out & you have to go through steps & rethink a way of doing something. You wonder all this time if you are actually are going to make it through this time, but through the whole process you are still very hesitant to say you have victory. I was angry today that's for sure & just fed up & frustrated. I took it out on my sister Shea (don't worry I already said I was very sorry for this.) & we didn't talk for a couple of hours, this is very hard when you live in a very small apartment together.
Some times I think I'm not going to make it through & all I want to say is forget you day & go to sleep. But today I stuck it out & I'm so glad I did because I would have missed out on the rainbow after the storm. All I can say is I thank my Papa God for putting women in my life that are amazing & take care of me when I lack in this area. And for my Mum, today, she was my Shero.
This is a little long & normally I don't like to write a lot but this time I'm going to. Today waiting in the financial aid office a guy came over & sat right next to me ( a little to close.) He immediately started up a conversation with me & asking me questions about financial aid he thought I might know. Well I had no clue what he was talking about, so after I wasn't answering his questions about that he changed the subject. He asked me about my tattoo on my wrist (refer to the header of my blog, yep that's my tattoo.) It's a very personal subject & it's hard for me to tell someone what it means to me without going deep into the meaning. But I went ahead after he continued to ask me the meaning & I told him. After this he asked me my major & things of this, but then he was called into the office so off he went.
When he left, I felt like I did not want to tell him what my tattoo meant! I kind of felt like I had given him a little piece of who I am, & i don't know him from Adam! The reason I got the tattoo on my wrist is because I do want to tell people the meaning, but it's hard for me to just open up to people that I don't know (blogging doesn't count.) Especially when someone is just trying to make conversation or just flirting with me. I feel like I need to come up with a much better explanation, that way I don't sound like some dumb kid that went to go get a tat of a bird cus I thought it was cute. I will work on this tomorrow!